Hmm, Back in highschool I use to update any journal I had everyday twice a day if i wanted to (yes im a weirdo lol im also a woman.) but now a days I barely touch it.. and when feel the urge to.. I end up turnin it away.

This time I'm not turning it away because its the end of this old chapter and a new beginnin for a total completely new book in my life.

Awhile back I would say three years in sept. I met someone.. Someone i thought was different and was better for me.. Yes he was different.. Better? not likely.... Can he become better.. if he works at it yes.. but he doesnt wanna work for it so no.
For Three years I stood by his side.. put up with his shit as he did my own.
Now Three years from then, Im working two jobs because he didnt feel like doing the simple requrement for basicly a "promotion" reasons its " " is because... it wasnt from the company but someone who worked WITH the company willin to take him in under his wing. Those three years he never did it.. not for himself.. not for us.. not for me nor for the job. and everything and nothing was done at the same time. Things got better for a small moment and then a small crack would form.. and everything would shatter.

Now its been three years.. and I'm Free....
I work two jobs.. one in Mc Donalds and the other Shoprite so now i have no life even thouh before we never went or did anything that i would call a sociel life.. ( his a hermit.)
I thought I love him.. and I though he did for me.. even now i decided to move out.. he didnt even say " with me right?"... he just said "i'm stayin here.."
Though all this waitin and me sitting back wondering when he will become the MAN he should be.. i decided for the best that i should leave.. Sadly when it came to us.. everything i thought did happen and was right on the money. So i figure if im thinkin this is the best choice then it must be.. So within the next two months im movin out into my own apartment.. and currently now.. I'm single with a male roommate....

If things go well... in 2-6 months i can leave the one job and be pretty well set for life with union... I'll attend college.. Might move to another state.. and getting to know someone that I've realized been there for me for sometime now...

If all goes well.. im leaving this account behind.. and creating a new one... (YES I"LL HAVE A SCANNER AND A CAMERA).
and I wont be writing anymore upsetting (atlest for me.)journals.. and I'll be for once happy.. not because I'm making someone else happy and doing as they want me to... but because I'm making myself happy... and doing waht I wanna do.

Once I made the new account I'll link this one to it.. and i might link the new one back to this one.. but starting to think it would be bad to bring the past with me.

So As I write this last journal of mine... I sit here with my Cat Dusty on my lap purrin... as i see us in the future my own studio... scanner, art... work money.. lover?... bf?..... future is unknown... but today I've been giving a clear vision of what could happen.


Thank you Adenn.. you smexy Tank you .. You've been there you've listen.. you've slap me around (figurely speakin.) and you picked me up when he pushed me down...
XoXoX



Good day and Good night.



Ps.. ( i shall still add some faves to here.. im not sure how this will work yet xD...)